Love Is a Crazy Thing
by Kumiko-kun
Summary: What would you give up for the one you love? To have the one you love be so far from your reach is hard enough to deal with but having getting the chance to have him, is something you would give anything up for? Right? Ed x Roy... review and i'll continue
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA!!

Warning: Not sure if you would classify this as yaoi or not Language

Summary:Love makes you do the craziest things, but no one thought that he would go so far to be with the one he loved. Yoaish RoyxEd

ishould also clarify: this is after the movie. Al is alive. Ed still has automail ^_^

**Love Is a Crazy Thing**

**1  
**

By: Kumiko-kun

It was just another morning, the same thing as the day before and everyday before that. Waking up to the realization that this morning you will end up doing the same thing again, what kind of life is that? Paperwork after paperwork, no missions to go on, there was nothing to look for now that his brother was back. Yet, even with his brother back, his life was quiet and dull. He was happy that his brother was back to his old self, even if the memories of the years they spent questing for the _Philosopher's Stone_ were gone. Every time his brother would visit Central to see how he was doing, he'd smile and reply. With Winry every present at his side, Al was always full of smiles. Wasn't that his goal in the beginning? To give Al back the body he lost, to give him back the feeling of being happy and smiling? Now, it seemed that everything was done. Al was happy now; he had everything he wanted in life. Ed had gone to the wedding between Al and Winry, he had been present at the birth of their first child, and now three years later, Ed felt like his heart wasn't quite whole.

Something was missing in him and he had yet to find out what it was. An empty void that even Al, Winry and his nephew couldn't fill. The time he spent with Havoc, Breda, and Feury wasn't enough to fill that even. Riza had long noticed the depression he had fallen into recently but even she couldn't help. With Roy becoming a General, he spent most of his time in the office filling out paperwork or away at meetings with the Furher. No matter what anyone did, he always felt alone and bored. Research no longer interested him; even the once great alchemy that he loved so much began to be just another burden to him.

On the days he didn't work, he spent most of his time staring out the window at the sky. His golden eyes held in him something that even he couldn't figure out. The sky above him seemed to calm him down from his turmoil of boredom and depression. Soft white clouds floated by, passing before the sun and casting a shadow on the ground below on the clear days. When it rained, it was the worst for him. The rain seemed to reflect the feeling in his heart, the emptiness that was seemingly endless. Would this feeling of boredom and depression ever go away?

Today of all days, when he felt like walking down the street and jumping in front of a car, the sky was bright and sunny. He peered up at the cloudless sky and scowled. Something in him told him that he was going to have a bad day, and that feeling was usually right. Sighing, he shoved his hands in his pockets and continued his short walk to the military base where he worked. It would only be a few minutes before he arrived at the gate, where the guards would smile and bow in greeting him. Though he never wore the blue military issued uniform, he was never turned away from the gate of any military facility. Everyone knew of the famous Fullmetal Alchemist who helped to save the country years ago.

Smiling in returned, he passed the guards and continued up the walkway to the front doors. Before heading through the doors, he glanced to the side of the building only to find that the general was standing outside the building staring up at the sky. For a moment he debated whether he should just ignore his commanding officer standing outside or to go over to him and question why he was outside. Debating wasn't really his strong point, even if was with just himself. After a few moments, he retreated back down the stairs and made his way over to the general. When he reached him, the general didn't stir from his standing spot. Ed watched for a while as the man continued to stare at the sky oblivious to his presence.

Then he turned himself and looked up at the sky. The clouds were beginning to roll in as the day was continuing on. In the distance he could hear a pair of birds chirping their happy little morning song as well as the few cars that drove by. With his hands shoved in his pockets, he glanced one more time at the general that stood to his right.

"Your shift starts soon, Fullmetal, you'll be late," the general said without taking his eyes off of the sky.

Ed knew he was right and that he should leave to go to the office so that Hawkeye wouldn't want to shoot his head off but for some reason he didn't feel like moving. He just shook his head and turned back to the sky.

"No can do, sir," he replied, having long since learning that it was best to respect his superiors rather than yell and scream at them. "I believe that you would be late as well if you do not get inside and I don't think staring at the sky is a valid reason for being late."

"Good point," he heard the general comment with a chuckle. "Shall we grace the office with our presence?"

Ed watched as the general passed him and began to head inside the building. After a moment, he turned to do the same. Now he definitely knew that his day was going to be bad, showing up late was bad enough but showing up right behind the general who seemed to be in a strange mood couldn't be any better. Sighing, he just followed with his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes on the general's back. He politely greeted the lower officers that nodded to him and said their good mornings as they passed, one of his most hated tasks of being a Colonel, that and the fact that he seemed to get more and more paperwork everyday rather than missions to go out and fight.

Seeming to be lost in his thoughts, Ed bumped into the general when he suddenly stopped in the hallway. Stepping back, he shook his head and moved around to the front of the general to see what had stopped him. Leaning against the wall beside the door of their office was Riza with a less than pleased look on her face. He looked up at the general and found that he didn't look so good.

"You both are late," she began as she pushed herself from the wall. "General, the Furher is waiting inside your office to talk to you and Colonel, there is paperwork waiting to be read and signed."

Ed grinned a bit before walking passed her and entered the office area.

"Sir," she said, interrupting the general's advance into the office. "Have you noticed that something seems to be _off_ with the Colonel?"

"I'm sure everything is fine, Lieutenant," he replied without hesitating before entering the office then into his own.

When Riza entered the office, she saw that everyone was quietly working and that Ed seemed to be doing the same with his own work. Sighing, she sat down at her own desk to continue with hers.

Hours seemed to pass without a word being spoken in the room, a rarity for the office with the gun-toting Lieutenant and the flirty Havoc. Ed laid his pen down on the desk and glanced at the clock. 11:28. Yawning, he stretched in his chair and stood up from his desk. The chair making a loud screech against the wood flooring as the feet dragged along when he pushed back. Sounds of pens scratching against paper, of people breathing and taping their pens against the desk filled the air of the room. It wasn't that he didn't mind the silence but it was beginning to wear on him and he needed to get somewhere where there was noise even if it was for just a moment.

"Lieutenant," he said, approaching her desk. "I am going to the lunch hall if anyone needs me."

"Of course, sir," she said with a smile before watching him head out of the room.

The walk to the lunch hall seemed to take forever as he stared at the floor while walking. The situation that occurred this morning seemed to be the only thing that was running through his head. There was a distant look on the general's face when he was outside staring at the sky. Ed noticed that his skin seemed to be a bit paler than usual, not that he was one to notice how someone's skin was. In his voice, Ed heard the sound of something far away as if he was talking from miles away to him. He just couldn't put his finger on why he was just thinking of the morning's events. The general was acting weird, along with the entire office. Quiet wasn't the norm in the office where he worked and frankly, it was getting on his nerves. He knew that everyone was worried about him and his well-being ever since Al and Winry married.

They were there for everything when he returned from the other side of the gate. It wasn't like he didn't trust any of them to help with what he was going through. He just didn't know himself, what he wanted or what would make him happy. However, the look on the general's face seemed to worry him much more than his own empty feeling seemed to. Sighing, he entered the lunch hall only to find that it was very quiet as well.

"What the hell is wrong with everything?" Ed asked no one in particular, seeing how no one was in the lunch hall. It was just half-passed eleven; it was never this empty before. Unless, he thought, everything was beginning to reflect the feeling in his heart. "Ugh!"

Turning around, he began to wander the halls of Central, in search of somewhere loud to take a break. He knew he told Hawkeye he would be in the lunch hall, but what could it hurt to just go wandering around. After about fifteen minutes of useless searching, Ed began his journey back to the office to sit in the quiet again and work on paperwork. Joy. Again his mind shifted back to his morning. He remembered the sounds of the birds and the cars passing by and the voice. His voice. Why did it seem like he couldn't get the general's voice out of his head? There wasn't anything special about the general compared to his other coworkers/friends. Running a hand through his hair, he tried to think of other things that would hopefully occupy his mind instead of the general.

When he reached the office, the door was hung open only slightly. Raising an eyebrow, he snuck over to the door to peek inside. _Why am I sneaking? _He asked himself but shrugged it off and continued to do so. From the distance the door open, he could only see right around the door to the general's office but that seemed to be the perfect spot to see what was going on inside. He could see Hawkeye standing with her back to the general's office and flushed look on her face. Smirking, he tried his best to see if it was Havoc trying his best to flirt with her again. Though, it surprised him to see who it was in fact she was looking at with that look in her eyes.

His eyes grew large with surprise and something else as well. He could feel his chest beginning to tighten as he was the general reach his hand up to take Hawkeye's cheek into his hand. Ed knew what was going to happen but he was shocked into place. For some reason, he couldn't look away. His feet wouldn't move from their spot on the floor and he couldn't get his eyes to close and look away.

"General," he heard her whisper, though it didn't sound like she wanted him to stop what he was doing.

"Please, Riza, call me Roy."

That seemed to be what hit the nail on the head. Ed fell back away from the door, his breath seeming to come back to him in a quick rush. He could hear the people in the room shuffling toward the door but when the door was opened, he was gone. As he ran away from the office, knowing that he would return with the state he was in know, questions would be flying in his direction. Not including the fact that he probably wouldn't be able to face the general and the lieutenant at the moment anyway. With his heart pounding and his chest tightening, he found himself kneeling beneath the tree that he was at the morning before. Hitting the ground, he tried to calm his heart and tried to breath. He could feel his eyes getting watery as he begged himself not to cry. He didn't want to cry when he didn't know what was going on his head.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

TBC....

**AN: ^_^ another story for you ^_^ what do you think? Reviews much appreciated!! Tell me whether this is worth continuing or not because your opinion matters to me!! Review!! Review!! Review!! Review!! Please!!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA!!

Warning: Not sure if you would classify this as yaoi or not Language

Summary:Love makes you do the craziest things, but no one thought that he would go so far to be with the one he loved. Yoaish RoyxEd

I should also clarify: this is after the movie. Al is alive. Ed still has automail ^_^

**Love Is a Crazy Thing**

**2**

By: Kumiko-kun

Despite his not wanting, Ed pushed himself up from the ground and began his way toward the building. He knew that he would get some looks for his how he looked at the moment but he didn't care. Not anymore. The emptiness was back and he didn't know why. Shoving his right hand into his pocket he used his left to wipe away some of the tears that made their way from his eyes. Though he didn't was to cry, the tears had seemed to push themselves from his eyes anyway. There was no holder back when he remembered the way Hawkeye and the general looked when they thought they were alone. _Stop it._ He told himself as he passed through the front doors. _Not again, not now. _

As he walked through the halls, he received some strange glances from the female personnel that were roaming the halls. Yet, he refused to pay them any attention, pretending that they weren't there beside him. When he reached the door to the offices, he took a deep breath before reaching down and turning the doorknob. Pushing the door open, he prepared himself for a barrage of questions and looks from his coworkers. Once inside, he was greeted with silence and just looks. Breda looked up from his work and raised an eyebrow. Feury's jaw dropped. Havoc's cigarette fell from his mouth onto his lap. When he glanced at Hawkeye, he found that she wore a guilty expression on her face. Ignoring their reactions, he walked passed them all and began to work on his paperwork.

The clock read 3:39 before he heard a peep come from anyone in the office. Looking up, he saw Breda and Havoc leaned close into each other, chatting about something. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Havoc point to him and continue whispering. Though, he couldn't hear what they were saying, he knew it couldn't be any good if they were in fact whispering, which they were. Glancing around, he found a small book on the corner of his desk. He picked the book up and flipped through it for a second before chucking it toward Havoc's head. When he hit his mark, Havoc yelled while rubbing his head.

"I'm leaving," Ed announced as he began to put his things away.

"What the hell you'd do that for, boss?" Havoc asked, still rubbing his head.

Ed didn't reply to his statement, just picked up his things and left the room.

Havoc looked toward Hawkeye for an answer but all he received was a shake of the head.

Darker clouds were beginning to fill the sky above Central, Ed noticed when he exited the building.

Darker clouds were beginning to fill the sky above Central; Ed noticed when he exited the building. It was going to storm, something else to make his day worsen. He didn't need something else to help ruin a day that was going really bad. As a light rain began to fall, he shrugged his hood up over his head and quickened his pace toward his home. It wasn't long before he reached his home, yet the sky had opened up and the rain poured down. His coat was soaked through to his skin by the time he got inside the door to his small house. Growling slightly, he ripped off his coat and clothing until he was down to only his pants.

Making his way to the bathroom to get a shower, the events of the day played on inside of his head.

_…"General."_

_"Please, Riza, call me Roy." …_

"God dammit," Ed yelled, stopping just outside the bathroom and slamming his left arm against the wall beside him. "Just stop remembering!"

He began to feel his chest tighten again at remembering the scene from this afternoon. Grabbing his chest, he leaned against the wall, his breathing becoming raged.

"Stop!" He yelled, sliding to the floor. Soon, with each time those two sentences ran through his mind, tears began to flow without hesitation. There was nothing he could do to stop them, each time he yelled they grew worse. _What's wrong with me? My chest hurts._

Hours passed and still it found Ed sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. He never made it to the bathroom to shower, never made it off the floor to move away and tries to forget. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the scene from before. With every replay of the words exchanged between the two, more tears were shed. He thought before now that he was a strong person, strong enough to get by anything that crossed his path. Yet, now, now he wasn't so sure anymore. There was something that was knocking down the falls that he had so protectively constructed. It was something that confused him and scared him.

In the distance he heard the sound of the phone ringing. Turning his head, he looked toward the sound but his body refused to move. Slowly, he forced his body to push up off the wall and to his feet. It wasn't like he really wanted to answer the phone right now. The phone kept ringing, it seemed like the person on the other end didn't want to give up their reaching him. Hesitantly, he reached down and picked up the receiver.

"Hello?" He said, placing the phone by his ear.

"Ed? Is something wrong?" Al asked over the phone.

Ed chuckled slightly, trying to hide the fact that he was crying just a little while ago. "No, I'm fine, Al."

"You're lying, brother," he could hear the worry in Al's voice. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, Al," Ed replied, taking a seat on the couch as he talked. "What is it that you called for?"

"All right, Ed, I don't believe you but I'll go on. Winry wanted to come out there to surprise you but I thought it better that she didn't travel again for a while," Al began, his voice getting more and more excited as he went along. "She's pregnant again."

"Really!? Wow, Al, congratulations!"

"Thanks, brother, I was kind of wondering if you could come out here for a while and help me fix up the house for another baby," his brother said, trying to hush an ecstatic Winry in the background.

"Of course, Al, I'd love to," Ed replied, smiling. "I'll have to talk to the general…"

On the other end, Al heard his brother grow quiet at the mention of the general. "Ed?"

"…Ed!"

Shaking his head, Ed apologized to Al and ended their conversation for the night. He knew that Al wouldn't be satisfied with him right now, but now Al had more to worry about with another baby on the way along with his first child. Ed leaned his head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. Even with the storm that was now raging outside, he had yet to turn on the lights in the house. Raising his hands up to cover his face, he rubbed his eyes, trying to get his mind cleared up.

_Time to shower, _he said to himself as he stood and made his way to the bathroom. Turning the water on in the shower, he slowly stripped off the remaining clothing he wore and removed the hair band from his hair. The warm water cascaded down his body, soaking his hair and easing the headache that was beginning. He ran his hands through his hair, washing it thoroughly before rinsing. It there was one thing that he worked hard to keep nice, it was his hair. He couldn't recall where the need to keep his hair looking great came from but he always did so. Now he turned to face the waterfall and placed his face in the water, closing his eyes.

_Try to forget what happened, just get it out of your mind, _he thought to himself as he finished showering. Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his face and stood there in front of the sink and mirror. His eyes had grown red and puffy from the tears he had shed; his cheeks were warm from the shower. Leaning against the sink, he leaned in further toward the mirror. It was like he was looking for something, an answer to what had gone wrong in the day. _I knew today was going to be bad. I just knew it._

Picking up a comb, he began to run it through his hair as he walked from the bathroom to his bedroom to get dressed. He laid the comb down only to pull on a pair of boxers and a nightshirt before continuing on his hair. Walking down the hallway, the floorboards creaked as he stepped along then along with the sounds of his automail foot against the floor. Flicking the light on in the living room, he proceeded over to the couch before sitting down and turning the radio on. He listened to the static on the radio as the regular broadcast went in and out because of the storm outside before turning it off and lying down.

The sound of the rain outside hitting his window seemed to sooth his wandering mind into the faint idea of sleep. With his eyes slowly drifting shut, he tried to put the day's events behind him to start over with the next day. Little did he know that it wouldn't be quite that easy to get away from the day?

___Ed found himself walking down the streets of Central on what seemed like the busiest day of the year. He was bumped around and pushed around like he wasn't even there. His yelling didn't help either; it was like the people around him were ignoring him being there. Getting more and more frustrated as the time went on, he pushed his way through the crowd, trying to get somewhere less crowded then where he was. Everyone around him was talking loudly though he couldn't figure out what anyone was saying. Whether they were talking to him or not was a mystery to him. He kept pushing his way through the crowd until it suddenly split and he fell on the ground in a grassy knoll area. _

_Pushing himself up, he looked around and found that he was seemingly all alone in the grassy area. He called out but received no reply. Standing, he began to walk forward, continuing to look around him as he did so. Not knowing where he was or what he was doing there soon began to freak him out. He could feel his heart racing as the knoll seemed to never end. Soon he picked up his pace and began running forward, every once in a while turning to go down another bend of the knoll until he seem to find himself right back where he started. Yet something seemed to be a little different now. In the middle of the small hill that sat in the knoll, a bench was placed. On the bench sat two people, two people he recognized right away even though they were faced away from him._

_He watched as the general leaned over to the woman sitting next to him and whispered something in her ear. In response she giggled happily, bringing a smile to the man's face. The two seemed oblivious to the fact that Ed was standing there watching them._

_Taking a step forward, he stepped on a branch that seemed to be placed conveniently there in its place. Ed stopped quickly, glancing down at his foot as if it had committed a heinous act before looking back up just to find the two looking at him. Fear washed over at him as he watched the general and the lieutenant get up from where they were sitting to walk over to him. He backed up until his feet seemed to stop before he fell down onto his butt. Looking up at the two, he saw the general smirked down towards him._

_"Stupid, Fullmetal," the general said with mirth. "You thought that I'd love you, forget about it. You're a guy."_

_Ed's eyes grew wide as he stared up at him, disbelieving what he was hearing. Before he could reply, heard the sound of a gunshot going off near him then everything faded to black.  
_

THUD!

"Ow…" Ed growled out as he realized that he had fallen off of the couch and onto the floor. Looking around himself, he saw that the storm outside had subsided and the moonlight was shining in. "What time is it?"

He pushed himself to his feet before walking down the hallway to his bedroom where he had left his pocket watch. Picking up his watch, he saw that it was only 3 am. With a quiet sigh, he scratched the back of his head then went to lie down on his bed, hopefully to get some more sleep. _Just forget about that dream, _he said to himself, pulling the blanket up over his head as if to try to keep it from coming back. _I can't love the general, he's a guy. _For hours he kept telling himself this fact before sleep finally claimed him only to be interrupted again by morning.

Needless to say, the next day wasn't any better. As soon as he arrived at the office, he was requested to have a talk with the general in his private office. Once the door closed behind him, he figured doom was going to happen. Not to mention the fact that his dream kept replaying in his head as well…

TBC…

**AN: ^_^ another chappy for you ^_^ what do you think? Reviews much appreciated!! Tell me whether this is worth continuing or not because your opinion matters to me!! Review!! Review!! Review!! Review!! Please!!**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA!!

Warning: Not sure if you would classify this as yaoi or not Language

Summary:Love makes you do the craziest things, but no one thought that he would go so far to be with the one he loved. Yoaish RoyxEd

I should also clarify: this is after the movie. Al is alive. Ed still has automail ^_^

_I am really sorry about the long wait between chap. 2 and 3 but with the holidays and my grandma dying I was extremely busy and sad so this was put to the side. Now that I am done with holidays but still recuperating from my grandma's death I am going to get this chapter our to you guys._

**Love Is a Crazy Thing**

**3**

By: Kumiko-kun

The general's office seemed to be ten times smaller than it normally was as Ed took a step toward the general. Mustang was the first person Ed saw that morning and the last one he wanted to see. With the dream replaying in his mind and the course of yesterday's advance running too, he wanted to stay away from Mustang and Hawkeye as much as possible. However, it seemed like that wasn't going to happen today. He could feel his heart begin to beat faster as he waiting in front of the desk with his eyes staring down at the wood of the desk.

"Do you know why I have asked you to come in here this morning, Fullmetal?" Mustang asked in a smooth voice without any hesitation.

"No, sir," he replied, dreading what might come next.

"Well," the general began, looking up and leaning on his hands. "The other's have come to me and commented on your strange behavior recently. It seems like you've been acting quite down lately and it's really worrying the rest of the team."

Ed sighed a sigh of relief in his head. _That's all. _"Nothing is wrong, sir," he replied, looking everywhere but the general. Perhaps it wasn't the best thing to do at that moment. He probably looked really guilty with the way he was refusing to look Mustang in the eyes but he couldn't help it.

"Ed…"

_Shit. Don't say my name, _he thought to himself, trying not to move his head.

"Ed, look at me."

Without a second thought, his body betrayed what his mind was telling him. He lifted his head and looked Mustang in the eyes. He knew it wasn't a good idea, he knew he probably was blushing like mad at that moment but he couldn't help it. The memories of the dream and the day before kept flooding his mind, reminding him of the past events that now haunted him. It wasn't that he wanted to forget them but he just didn't want to be reminded of something that made his heart ache. Those dark eyes that he was staring into just made his heart ache, whether it was in a good way or bad, he wasn't really sure.

"Are you sure that you are okay?" Mustang asked, surprisingly filled with pure care in his voice.

"I'm fine," Ed said, turning his head, unaware that Mustang had seen the flush that crossed his cheeks.

"That doesn't sound very convincing, Fullmetal," the general commented, receiving another look from the flushed alchemist. "Everyone here is worried about you. You never smile anymore, you keep to yourself and you rarely go on outings anymore besides the missions you are sent on. This isn't like you, not like you at all."

"It's…" he began but shook his head. "It's nothing, sir."

Mustang sighed and leaned back in his chair. "You're going to end up getting yourself killed if you don't start letting other people in, Fullmetal. We are genuinely worried about you."

For a moment, Ed stayed silent. "I'm sorry but it's not something I'd want to discuss right now," Ed said after a bit with his eyes staring out the window behind the general. "I'm not quite sure myself, what is wrong with me, that is."

"I see," mustang replied, leaning back in his chair. "How about a small vacation? It seems as if you need one. Besides, Al called me late last night to inform me of the new addition to their family. It was enjoyable to hear that their family is growing." He paused a moment to look at Ed's face. "He also told me about the conversation you two had, he wore to me that you had been crying just before answering the phone. he's worried about you as well as we all are."

"A vacation?" Vacations weren't something the general gave willingly to just anyone. The closest anyone ever got to a vacation was when someone died and they were permitted leave for such a thing. That or the "vacation" turned into a mission that needed to be done. Yet here the general was talking about giving him a vacation.

"Yes, Fullmetal," mustang replied, "It seems like you need it and I'm sure your brother and his wife would enjoy your company and help as well."

"Thank you, General." Ed said, bowing to him in thanks.

"Just promise me one thing," the general continued, now leaning forward with care in his voice. "Talk to your brother about what is bothering you; maybe you need him right now more than you know."

"I will, sir."

"You may take the rest of the day off," mustang said, leaning on his hand as he looked up at the young alchemist. "Let Hawkeye know that you are leaving and that I'll have the papers to her by the end of the day."

Ed nodded and turned to leave. Once his back was to the general, he could hear the faint sounds of a pen scratching against paper. The amount of concern that mustang showed him just the moment before had sent his heart into flutters and cause a flush to cross his face. These feelings just confused him even more with what his mind was telling him and what his heart was telling him. He had not realized before just how much everyone in the office worried about him now that he was not up to his usual self all the time. it was true that he hadn't gone out with any of his coworkers recently and he really didn't have a good excuse for it, either. Sighing, he opened the door to the  
outer office and proceeded toward Hawkeye's desk.

"Lieutenant," Ed addressed to her to gain her attention. When she looked up from her work, he continued, "The general told me to inform you that i am leaving today on a short vacation and that he'll have the papers written up by the end of day."

"I see," she replied, bowing her head slightly and playing with a pen in her hands. "You'll be okay, right?"

"Yes."

"Mustang told us about Al and Winry," she said, smiling up at him. "Tell them congratulations when you see them and make sure to relax, Ed."

"I will, thank you, Hawkeye." With that he left the office with everyone staring at his back as he left.

The office stayed quiet for a moment before everyone glanced at each other with worried looks. They knew that he needed the vacation for the rest and to get away from everything at the office but none of them were convinced that it was what he truly needed to be himself again. There was something more to it and they all knew it but just didn't know how to help.

When Ed stepped through the gates, he turned around and looked at the building. The people in there were truly worried about him but he didn't know what to do. All his mind thought about was the empty feeling he got when he watched Al and Winry together and that time his heart ached when he saw the general and lieutenant together. Even with the strange dream he had about the two of them, worried his mind. Could he sort out the problems that were in his mind and heart before he went completely crazy? Sighing, he went off toward his home where he could relax a bit, at least try to, before heading to Rizembol.

The trip to his home was long and boring. People on the street passed him and paid him no attention, not that he cared. He only stopped once when he saw two people standing across the street, holding hands while waiting to for something. For a moment, he stood there on the sidewalk and watched the two, smiling and laughing with each other wishing that he could do that as well. He couldn't remember the last time he truly smiled or laughed with someone. Though, he nearly perfected the fake way he did it now, he preferred a real laugh and smile any day. Turning away, he began his trek down the street. Above him the sky grew darker the closer he got to his home. Again it seemed like the weather was going to reflect his mood, hopefully this time he wouldn't break down like the last time.

When he reached his home, he stripped off his coat and threw it on the floor before heading to phone to call his brother. He figured it might be a good idea to inform Al of his coming instead of just showing up, though he is sure that his brother would like that as well. Sitting on the chair beside the phone, he leaned against the table and waiting as the phone rang.

"Elric Automail," Winry answered the phone, cheerfully.

"Winry, is Al there?" Ed asked, not really wanting to be on the phone too long.

"Ed? Oh my god, I haven't heard from you in so long," she began, chatting away at useless things that he really didn't want to know about.

He just sat there listening for a bit before he heard her voice soften then Al's come on the phone.

"Ed, is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong," Ed replied, shaking his head. "I'm just calling to let you know that I am coming to visit for awhile."

"Oh, nii-san, that's wonderful, Winry will be so excited," Al exclaimed, excitedly. Ed could nearly hear his brother jumping in joy over the phone.

"I'm sure you're all excited," Ed assured him just before saying his good-bye as he had to pack and get ready to go.

A few hours later he found himself standing on the platform at the train station waiting for the next train to Rizembol. The wait at the station was usually a calm wait with no worries to think about and nothing really to do. Yet, this time, he sat at the station impatiently waiting on the train to arrive so he could be on his way. Maybe the further away from the general he is, the less he will think about him and the less his heart would ache. At least, that was what he kept telling himself as he waited. With his heart all in flutters and his brain fighting everything his heart threw at it, there was a storm racing in his body that he couldn't beat down. Sighing, he leaned back against a wall and looked toward the sky. The darkened clouds were already taking over the once clear sky, threatening rain yet again on his life.

He heard the train whistle blow come from just in front of him, signaling the last boarding call for the train to Rizembol. Pushing himself from the wall, he looked up to the sky once more.

"I don't believe in god, but please someone help me escape the misery that I am in right now," he begged the sky with a single tear that slid down his face before boarding the train.

Little did he know, that the god he doesn't believe in works in very strange ways and the wish he wanted was about to be granted. Perhaps a little less than the way he had hoped for it to be granted.

TBC…

**AN: ^_^ another chappy for you ^_^ what do you think? Reviews much appreciated!! Tell me whether this is worth continuing or not because your opinion matters to me!! Review!! Review!! Review!! Review!! Please!! Again sorry for the long wait between 2 and 3. too much stuff happened at home with my grandma that I couldn't write this til now. **


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